The Internet 2
I have a dream for the future of the Internet. A dream so radical and yet so obvious it is sure to amaze and astound you (or, more likely, your cat).
The Internet as it stands is a marvel of human genius. Infinite computers (lets not talk about the limits of IP6 here, eh?) connected together via a mass of wires and stuff. People who would never leave their house can lead a wonderfully rich life.
One example that springs to mind of the uses of the Internet was the solar eclipse a few years ago. People at my workplace all gathered in the car park with small bits of paper with holes in it to see the moon pass across the sun on a cold, cloudy day. I was the only one left in the office. When people came back in, being agog as mere humans are, they told me I had missed out. But little did they know the power of The Internet. I had watched the eclipse pass over the French Alps, covering the snow-drenched pistes of mountains in an eerie shadow. I watched close up images of the moon sweeping across the sun, even causing a moon-ring (the split-second when the moon totally covers the sun and slides gently away one tiny fraction, causing a huge shaft of light in a circular pattern). This event cannot be seen without equipment (a bit of paper with a hole in it does not count as equipment).
Other examples of the splendour of The Internet also include talking to new people from corners of the world. Learning about different cultures and societies from the comforting glow of a CRT.
However, not all is well with The Internet. All is not well indeed.
There is an element of The Internet which tarnishes it for everyone - masking the true cause of it. They are the villains of the seas, the worms in the barrel of apples, the children with TB in a crowded school.
They are children. They are pornographers. They are weirdoes.The Children.
Children who populate chat rooms, message boards and Instant Messengers - bastardising the beauty of the English Language with such words as "u" and "tho" and "cos". Children who do not know how to spell simple words. Who replace longer words with shorter ones ("you" becomes two letters shorter, for example). They do not know Homonyms (there/their/they're). They do not have respect. They do not how to release a key from the keyboard ("I luv uuuuuuuuu"). They do not know how to use grammar. What is worse, these children will probably grow up thinking that their way of communication is correct. In 30 years time, these children will have to hand in a business report on sales in the private sector. That report will read "we dunt sell ne stuff 2 ppl 2day". This saddens me.The Pornographers.
These are probably worse then the children. They encourage people to become weirdoes. They invented the hell that is popup pages. They invented adverts on web pages. They rip people off and steal bank details. They take advantage of people or situations to aid their own profits. It should be banned outright.The Weirdoes.
A common class of The Internet users. Weirdoes come in many forms - from people trying to "cybersex" random people. People pretending to be someone else to fullfill their own bizarre fetishes. People who lure other people in to liking or loving them just for their own weird kicks. These people give money to pornographers, who exist for the weirdoes. Weirdoes also like to hack or gain access to systems or accounts that do not belong to them. Breaking in to someones emails to spy or cause havoc.The Big Picture.
All these people - the children, the pornographers and the weirdoes, probably consume 70% of the normal bandwidth use of The Internet. They are lagging everyone out because they want to do what is wrong.The Solution.
Create a new The Internet, but leave the existing The Internet as it is. The Internet 2 will be a place of fast connections, pure and unadulterated content, factual information and good, honest entertainment. To gain access to The Internet 2, a test must be performed. Applicants will be tested on how much they know (only geeks or wannabe geeks will be allowed to The Internet 2). They will also be tested on their grammar, knowledge of URLs (who can call themselves a geek if they cannot recite URLs from the top of their head), and personal attitude. If their application is successful, they will be connected to a faster and more friendlier environment. No one will be a weirdo, there will be no popup banners, and everyone will be happy to help with anything.
Only by eliminating the Bad Element, will the human race evolve and grow online. We must extinguish the evil.
Are you with me? Current Mood: contemplative